I hope people remember who Lorena Bobbit is, because I referenced her in today's comic "Made by Mattel". Lorena Bobbit is a woman who became a news sensation for castrating her husband. Thanks to the magic of the internet, and wikipedia, a seemingly limitless spew of information can be found on the subject.

On the night of June 23, 1993, Bobbitt cut several inches off her husband's sex organ with a kitchen knife as he lay sleeping in their Manassas, Virginia, home. She then drove off with the severed appendage and flung it out her car window. Police performed a diligent search and located it, and it was then surgically reattached.

The sad thing is, this isn't the most disturbing aspect of the entire affair.

John also faced charges stemming from accusations of assault against Lorena. He was acquitted of a charge of marital sexual assault in September of 1993. After his reattachment surgery, Bobbitt briefly became a porn star, appearing in the movies Frankenpenis and John Wayne Bobbitt … Uncut, in part to finance the operation which reattached his member. In "Frankenpenis," Bobbit played a character who was made with spare parts, much like "Frankenstein" whose penis unexplicably comes off during a rousing session of intercourse. Bobbit then moans, "oh no, not again." Siskel and Ebert gave the movie two thumbs up.

I guess this just goes to show the overall tastelessness of America at large. Did some porn director just walk up to him as he was recovering in the hospital, saying "Yo, Johnny, baby! I heard about your accident and I just thought right away, 'this man has a career in porn!'" I guess there's a market for a guy who had is FUCKING PENIS CUT OFF. Who in the hell gets aroused by that crap? It sounds like a bad 80's sitcom replete with a retarded catch phrase "oh no, not again". But that's not the most disturbing part. Why in the hell were Siskel and Ebert reviewing a movie called "Frankenpenis"? The only reason I can think of is that they felt compelled to mention this national-scale shame because of John Bobbit's status as a pseudo-celebrity.

Well on to other matters...

Williams Street must be stopped. Someone needs to tell them that they're not funny, for their own good. After watching 12oz Mouse last Sunday, I started to question my own sanity. "No, a TV network would never knowingly broadcast a show of such poor quality. I know some shows are bad, but nothing this apocalyptically terrible! NEVER! WHY GOD?! WHYYYYY?!" Hell, even Aquateen Hungerforce has its moments, but this was 15 minutes of an awkward pause. They took the time and energy to produce a show out of bad art that appears to have been drawn on a bar napkin, and then apply written dialogue so devoid of humor that Rugrats is witty in comparison. Seriously, just because Home Movies got some humor from the awkward situations of everday life doesn't mean you can too. The entire thing reads like an inside joke, and you can be sure that the guys at the offices were laughing their asses off, completely unaware of the fact that nobody outside that room (who isn't on drugs) will be amused. All of the awkward pauses are just an excuse for being lazy with your writing and animation, which seems pretty damn effortless to begin with. My god, this show is even worse than Tom Goes to the Mayor. I never thought it would be possible.

Do us a favor and stick with showing episodes of Family Guy and Futurama, because they know what the hell they're doing and they're prettymuch entirely responsible for your success. If you want to sink your funding into original programs, at least invest is something good like Robot Chicken and the Venture Bros. Because those at least require effort.