If you thought I made up the "kid named Sephiroth" stuff up, you've got another thing coming. Seriously, I don't think ANYBODY could make this shit up. Some parents actually decided to name their child after the famous Final Fantasy 7 villain, who is usually the star of terrible fanfiction. If you want to see how far America has fallen down the society shitter, just look at the most popular baby names. The doctors should have slapped the parents when he found out about the name. But seriously, there is just something that needs to be asked here: WHY? Why would you name your child after a video game villain, a Final Fantasy character of all things?
This is the kind of bullshit that 6 year olds go through when they think it would be awesome to name their kids after superheroes or video game characters. But then they turn 8 and they realize how stupid they were and go on with their lives. This leads me to believe that the parents were either retarded or worse... a fanboy and a fangirl that somehow procreated out of desperation. However, fanboy/fangirlism is typically at its prime in the early teenage years, so perhaps these loser pregnant teens decided to get it on because they came to the realization that nobody else would ever have sex with them without being either dead or drugged first.
Perhaps they were angry about their childhoods, so out of resentment for the limitless possibilities of their child, they decided to inflict double the bullying they recieved when they were kids by giving him such a shitty name. Seriously, all the bullies have to do is print out bad homosexual Final Fantasy 7 fanfiction from the internet, and read it aloud and you have a shitty childhood in the making right there. Then again, growing up in the household of otakus can't be good for his mental development. I have a prediction of his future screen name: PARENTKILLER8345
Let's just hope he succeeds.
Is it just me or have Cocoa Pebbles commercials stopped making sense altogether? Seriously, why does Barney Rubble have clones? What's even better is that the producers of the commercial really don't feel the need to explain where they come from at all. So we're to assume that somehow in the stone age, Barney Rubble, a frequently-unemployed half-mongoloid retard, has somehow figured out how to magically duplicate himself in order to steal breakfast cereal from his angry, alcoholic neighbor. What the fuck is this shit? At least the older commericals established the process behind the schemes, like Barney building a machine, or learning a magician's card trick or some other inane crap. At least we could, in a cartoonish sense, believe what was happening. Now they've just let it ride into insanity with no explanation whatsoever. Seriously, what the hell?!
This is the kind of bullshit that 6 year olds go through when they think it would be awesome to name their kids after superheroes or video game characters. But then they turn 8 and they realize how stupid they were and go on with their lives. This leads me to believe that the parents were either retarded or worse... a fanboy and a fangirl that somehow procreated out of desperation. However, fanboy/fangirlism is typically at its prime in the early teenage years, so perhaps these loser pregnant teens decided to get it on because they came to the realization that nobody else would ever have sex with them without being either dead or drugged first.
Perhaps they were angry about their childhoods, so out of resentment for the limitless possibilities of their child, they decided to inflict double the bullying they recieved when they were kids by giving him such a shitty name. Seriously, all the bullies have to do is print out bad homosexual Final Fantasy 7 fanfiction from the internet, and read it aloud and you have a shitty childhood in the making right there. Then again, growing up in the household of otakus can't be good for his mental development. I have a prediction of his future screen name: PARENTKILLER8345
Let's just hope he succeeds.
Is it just me or have Cocoa Pebbles commercials stopped making sense altogether? Seriously, why does Barney Rubble have clones? What's even better is that the producers of the commercial really don't feel the need to explain where they come from at all. So we're to assume that somehow in the stone age, Barney Rubble, a frequently-unemployed half-mongoloid retard, has somehow figured out how to magically duplicate himself in order to steal breakfast cereal from his angry, alcoholic neighbor. What the fuck is this shit? At least the older commericals established the process behind the schemes, like Barney building a machine, or learning a magician's card trick or some other inane crap. At least we could, in a cartoonish sense, believe what was happening. Now they've just let it ride into insanity with no explanation whatsoever. Seriously, what the hell?!
posted by R. L. Peterson at
1:57 PM
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