Today I learned that I should never use the word "kapok" as a punchline ever again. For those of you not in the know, kapok is sort of like a cotton substitute that you find in most cheap hotel, hospital, and airplane pillows. It's sort of like sleeping on some fiberglass insulation covered in McDonald's napkins. Nonetheless, it is impossible, or at least very difficult to smother someone with a kapok pillow, since you can effectively breathe through it, and it doesn't bend enough to close off the face, allowing the victim to turn his/her head to get air. Perhaps they use these crappy pillows in hospitals to make sure that nobody attempts to re-create "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". God knows that some kid saw the movie on TV and then decided to try it out on their friends. Damn kids.

In the end, I'm not sure what's more sad, the fact that I thought strangulation is funny or the fact that I know the logistics of smothering people with pillows.

Because I can't think of much else to say, here's a classic Darwin Award:

(3 March 2002, Sheffield, England) As Kim Fontana, 32, and Paul Cowley, 40, left the pub, they noticed that a streetlight was burned out, creating an attractive pool of darkness on the road. Unable to rein in their passion, they began to canoodle on the asphalt outside the pub.

Witnesses said the couple was lying right on the white line, kissing and cuddling. The passionate pair were warned of the danger of their chosen position not once, not twice, but three times -- by a car driver, a bus driver, and a pedestrian.

An off-duty paramedic honked three times and shouted, "You want to get up, or otherwise you'll be run over." The man simply said "Cheers, mate," and the paramedic heard a female voice laughing. A bus driver swerved to avoid them, and drove past with wheels on the curb. A concerned pedestrian shouted to warn them that another bus was headed their way.

Despite these disruptions, Kim and Paul continued, oblivious to the approach of a small, single-decker Nipper bus. The bus driver mistook the undulating shape for a bag of rubbish in the poorly lit street, and was unable to stop in time. There was a dull thud...

Kim and Paul were struck and killed at midnight. Paramedics found Kim lying on her back with her jumper pulled up, and Paul between her legs with his trousers pulled down.

The only downside to this timely removal of lunacy from the gene pool is the fate of the bus driver. Despite the couple's own actions, and a police investigator's statement that "one can expect a pedestrian walking or running in the road, but to expect a driver to anticipate a pedestrian lying in the road is out of the ordinary" -- a judge felt that "his driving fell below the standard one would reasonably expect of a prudent, competent driver."

The bus driver was fined for careless driving and his license was revoked for six months. Fortunately, his employers consider him an excellent employee, and plan to give him other duties for six months. Relatives of the victims said they were glad the driver had kept his job.